Day 8

Start writing a story that...

Step 1: has a character who reveals a secret

Step 2: add this word: law

Step 3: add a character who is angry

Step 4: add a scene that takes place in a school

Step 5: add a character who breaks something
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Dear graduating students, parents, and faculty of Quinnipianoc High School class of 2015,

I was asked by your principal and my old friend, Mr. Darren Olson, to come here today and speak to you on this day of your graduation about the world you are about to enter. I am a successful former graduate of this very high school, and so I am in an excellent position to know where you're coming from and where you may be going. And to that end, I had a very thoughtful speech all planned out. Except, and I probably shouldn't be telling you this, I lost it somewhere last night on my pub crawl.

You see, my life isn't as amazing as I might let on over Facebook, and so I often resort to drinking, especially when I'm stressed about something. You'll learn that eventually. Right now drinking is all about fun and showing you're a tough guy by skirting the law by being underage, which you know the cops in this town don't even bother with. Hey, Danny! I see you there in back! It's a credit to you that you can wear that uniform with a straight face, right? Joe, you know what I'm talking about!

Anyway, right now the drinking is all about fun and partying, but eventually you'll need it to deal with stress and the unbearable weight of your responsibilities, which are massive and crushing. Sure, you may become a successful marketing executive someday like I did. But what if you don't get the promotion to marketing director? What if the guy who gets it is, like, five years younger than you are? Do you scream at everyone and risk losing yet another job? Or do you go drinking? Well?

Darren, I see you look a little angry. No, wait, don't come up here. I know this isn't what you had in mind when you invited me, but seriously, isn't it better that they learn now? No, I'm not still drunk! Well, maybe I'm still hung over, but my thoughts are as clear as last night's vodka. This place, this high school standing right behind me that I was so damn anxious to escape, was where I experienced some of the best times of my entire life. Sure, college was fun at the start, but it got so serious eventually. But not here at good ol' Quinnipianoc! I goofed off ALL the time. And I drank and smoked pot. Not at school, of course. And stay off drugs kids! Except pot isn't really a drug, is it?

But I digress, and I see Danny making his way up here, so I need to wrap this up. It's probably too late for most of you, but I'm sure there are a few of you who still have one last chance to stop this graduation insanity and stick around for another year. Maybe you have a class to make up over the summer. Or your diploma is contingent on you completing some final project. My advice to you: don't do it! If at all possible, try to fail! Stay here. Have another senior year. Do more stupid shit. Don't buy into the college and career thing, because it's not like they say. They lie! And I'm here to set things straight!

Oh, hey, Danny. You really do wear that uniform well. No, please don't take the mic. I'm almost done. No, Danny, let go of my arm. Danny, I"m still talking! Danny, I... Well, now look what you've done. You broke the mic stand. That's on you, buddy. Yeah, don't try to blame me, I was just talking!

Okay, I see how it is. Darren, you don't need to grab my arm. I said I'm fine. I can get down off the stage myself I just want to finish my thought... Stay in school kids. Seriously, don't ever leave. Ow! Okay, I'm going. I'm going!